Advice to My Son

The title of “Advice to My Son” is formal and imperative. The use of the word “to” instead of “for,” implies the speaker is directing his son rather than guiding him, in the manner of an old-fashioned parent. The phrase “advice to” also creates a sense of hierarchical distance between the speaker and the son, creating a giver and a receiver rather than the more intimate, equitable implications of “advice for.” Thus, the title sets up the expectation that the advice the speaker is providing will be imperious, formal, and definite.

However, the opening lines quickly undercut this expectation, contradicting the tone of the title. The phrase “the trick is […]” (1) is casual and conversational, with the persona of the speaker moving into that of a huckster offering life-hacks rather than a serious-minded parent. Further, the short "i" sound is repeated in the first line in “trick” and “live,” enhancing the sense of quick wit and hustle the line carries. The advice that follows is impossible: The speaker suggests the son live life to the fullest since he may die any day, yet also slow down and plan for the future. Thus, the illogical advice seems to question the very notion of offering advice on life. The sudden phrase "shattered windshield and the bursting shell" (Line 7) introduces a jarring note of violence in the poem. The words “shattered” and “bursting” are dynamic and disruptive, puncturing the thus casual tone of the poem. They recall the fate of other young men who have died over the generations, as they may have done in car accidents or combat. The image also carries an air of cynicism, as if the speaker has seen too much of life to know that nothing goes as planned. The reference to the “bursting shell” may also be linked to Meinke’s anti-war politics. Having been stationed in Germany during his service in the 1950s, Meinke saw first-hand the damage World War II had wreaked in Europe, strengthening his stance against war.

From the somber atmosphere created in the closing lines of the first stanza, the speaker moves again to a casual mode with the phrase, “To be specific […]” (Line 11). Again, the short “i” sounds of “specific” convey a switch to a lighter tone. Ironically, though the speaker promises specific advice to the son, in the next few lines, he moves into a field of symbolism, creating yet another layer of surprise. The advice to plant a mixed garden may be literally taken, but also carries metaphorical weight. Interestingly, the contrast between the specifics promised and the abstract delivered is echoed through the prosody, with longer syllabic sounds following the staccato of “to be specific” (Line 11). Longer “e” sounds, such as in “between” and “peonies” follow, as well as the long “o” of “rose” and “tomatoes.”

The "peony and the rose" (Line 11) refer to life’s aesthetically pleasing items. While the flowers of beauty nourish the senses and the soul, the son must also grow plants that sustain his body. Here, the text plays with the multiple meanings of sustenance. Beauty can be sustenance or nectar, saving the starving man in a wasteland of despair, as much as the “stronger sustenance” (Line 15) craved by the stomach. Love and marriage can bring emotional sustenance, while a wife, the speaker implies, can actually sustain the son by cooking for him. By evoking the many aspects of what sustains a person’s entire being, the speaker guides the son to balance all kinds of cravings: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

The poem’s quasi-spiritual and religious undertones in conjunction with its central tenet of balancing the physical and the metaphysical become more pronounced in its last two lines. The advice to serve bread and wine has been interpreted by some critics as a reference to the Christian tradition of the Eucharist, with the bread being symbolic of Christ’s body and the wine his blood. The scriptural reference here adds another layer of meaning to the phrase “bread and wine.” Now the speaker seems to be telling his son to nourish body and soul, instead of stomach and senses. Yet, lest the reader delve too much into metaphysics, the last line changes the tone again, urging the son to “always serve wine” (Line 22). Here, the meaning of wine lapses into the literal, with the cheeky suggestion that life is best tolerated with a generous dose of spirits, or that the son won’t make many friends if he refrains from serving alcohol at his table.